Life Change Story - Haley Brannon

I am so thankful for the transformation that is happening week in and week out here at theTURN! I have felt such an urgency to love and pray more than I ever have before. “In Christ Jesus neither circumcision nor uncircumcision counts for anything; the ONLY thing that counts if faith working through love (my emphasis added).” - Galatians 5:6

My friends, when it is all said and done, this is what living faith is all about. To put it simply, if your faith as a Christian is genuine, then other people will be able to see lived out in loving ways. Faith in Jesus Christ is not real until it is connected to how you live day to day. I see a faith that has been tested in the story below and now that faith is being worked out in love. Remember, a faith that has not been tested is a faith that cannot be trusted. Big faith requires big fights.

This week’s LIFE CHANGE STORY highlights a student who has been fighting week in and week out for a few years now and has finally surrendered a painful past. How many others do you know or minister to each week that are living right where she was?

Pastor Craig,

In November of 2008, my best friend lost her mother. Our lives were forever changed. It’s a reality we both deal with every day. She was fine. She was a vibrant, beautiful, and wonderful woman who had a smile that just made you gravitate to her. She was my spiritual counsel, my second mother, and a best friend. She seemed to be closer to God than any of us.

On the day she died, my mom made a phone call to tell her we were coming to see her. I had not seen her in about 3 months. She told my parents she didn’t want me to see her, but to remember her the way she was. I didn’t care, I needed to see her. On the way there, her daughter called and said, “Mom isn’t feeling well, maybe you should wait until tomorrow.” I said, “Okay, tell her I love her.” That was the last thing I heard. A little after 12 a.m. Sarah texted me. The text just read two words, two words that I can still see in my mind. Two words that make me regret not going to see her anyway. “Mom’s gone.” It felt like somebody punched me in the stomach. I hit the floor, I couldn’t move, and all I could say is “Why?!” I screamed it, over and over. I couldn’t control my body or my emotions. I felt helpless. I didn’t know why He would take her from us.

I’ve struggled with this for almost two years. It’s been a battle to get through a day without thinking, “I wish I could call Linda for advice on this one.” I was so angry. So mad at God that I didn’t want to raise my hands, or talk to Him or even listen to anything that brings glory to His name. I cried for no reason, but I learned to cover it with humor. I figured if I kept laughing, the pain and regret would subside.

At the leader meeting a few months back, Pastor Craig asked me what my weakness was; I said “I don’t push myself.” I couldn’t control my emotions when I said it; the truth is…I wasn’t pushing myself at all. I gave up. I gave up on the most important relationship in my life. I didn’t completely turn my back, but I was on the way there. Every time He tried to break me and show me His love, I gave up. I would be on the verge of surrender, and I wouldn’t push past that point. Every time I would get excited about going to Church, something came up. The enemy was coming at me from all directions.

I’ve been raised in church. Not only going to church, but serving in the church. I did it out of obligation and tradition. Not for God. I was increasingly overwhelmed and stressed, and I just didn’t want to be there anymore. I was doing it alone.

The day of the EMPOWER Leader meeting (Aug 21), I woke up feeling that same sense of obligation. I woke up fighting God, pushing Him away when all He wanted to do was comfort me. I fought Him, and my parents, all the way out the door, and the whole ride to the church. I fought Him all the way into the sanctuary. Pastor Craig was talking, and he said “if you’re doing this out of obligation, just don’t do it any more. Turn in your resignation.” It hit me like a ton of bricks. He was talking to me. I knew it; conviction invaded every part of my body.

In that seat, I felt that same sense of helplessness. I was sinking; sinking because of my own stupidity. I was trying to do life alone, and He just wouldn’t let me. I fought Him, but He didn’t give up. God never left no matter how hard I pushed Him away. He wouldn’t relent in His pursuit. He was waiting for me to make a choice.

I zoned out of every other speaker. When it came time for worship, something inside me changed. It was no longer a one sided love affair. I wanted Him. Brokenness hit me like I’ve never experienced before. For the first time in two years, I didn’t want to leave. I would have stayed there all day, just to feel Him that close…and to think that I fought Him all the way there.

I’m so thankful for theTURN; I can’t wait to get there on Thursdays. I love my church. The enemy can try, but if I have to walk over him I will to get to Free Chapel. He won’t win, and he won’t come that close again.

I don’t have to do life alone. I don’t have to always be the strong one. If I’m going through something I can talk to someone about it. It’s not an obligation; it’s a place where I can run after God. It’s a place of safety and friendship. Real friendship. I still don’t understand why Linda died. I don’t have to understand it; I just trust that He knows what He’s doing. If I’m feeling down, I talk to Him. His ways are not my ways, and I’m thankful they aren’t. I would have completely messed it up by now. Yeah, I still have my moments where I let me get in the way and I try to fight Him, but I’ve realized it’s so much easier to reach for His hand than to push Him away. It takes a lot of energy to run from someone who loves you like He does. You won’t win the spiritual foot race, and you won’t be successful at life without Him. It’s better to just give in.

He won’t relent, and neither will I. Pastor Franklin said He’s a motion sensitive God. Well I’m running after Him, and the most beautiful thing about it is He’s running towards me too. I talk to Him. I talk to Him all the way to school, and we talk about my day on the way home. I raise my hands out of surrender, not tradition. I dance around my house and just have a praise fest. I want to be with Him all the time.

He’s so good to me even when I’m so undeserving. I’m not going through this life alone. He’s holding my hand, and it feels great to just let Him have it all.

Romans 8:37-39
But in all these things we overwhelmingly conquer through Him who loved us. For I am convinced that neither death, nor life, nor angels, nor principalities, nor things present, nor things to come, nor powers, nor height, nor depth, nor any other created thing, shall be able to separate us from the love of God, which is in Christ Jesus our Lord.

Haley Brannon

Much love,
pcraig